Two weeks ago, I gave a speech at a wedding which included this little homily :
“In many ways and for various reasons I am not qualified to give advice on how to make a marriage work. But I will say what I have learned, that while delight in each other and caring for each other is part of the business, it is not the whole. At some point, giving ground to each other is going to be necessary and that alone can be hard. But make sure that it is not left just to the one of you to do the ground giving. And make sure, at the same time, that neither of you ever gives ground on something that is essential to your inner self, your integrity of being. While you will both have to give a little, make sure that it is not too much, so that in your marriage each of you flourishes, and the marriage makes more of both, not less of one. Stand up for each other but also to each other, for the sake of the best in both of you. Be home for each other, but do not hide in each other. Come and see me often.”